


Immortal Virus

by the_black_rose



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood, F/M, Historical, Horror, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, References to Illness, Relena is a doctor, Romance, Smut, Thriller, referenced child death, references to an incurable virus, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_black_rose/pseuds/the_black_rose
Summary: AU. Set in modern times, Relena is a doctor pursuing a cure for an unwilling patient - with a terrible disease.Explicit content (lemon) in Chapter 4"He lay there, dying, his blood filled with nothing but his thoughts of you. His memories of how he had taken you…." The vampiress leaned over her. She stroked Relena’s hair, pushing it from her forehead. "His shame. His longing..." Dorothy's face gnarled into a ghoulish nightmare. Her eyes blazed red.
Relationships: Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy
Comments: 11
Kudos: 48
Collections: Bringin' Gundam Wing Back, October 1xR - Changes of Fall





	1. A Dangerous Experiment

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in 2007, I think. Its working title was: Infected. Bits and pieces were posted to my LJ back then, but I have recently finished it up / fleshed out a few places. And gone over it a half dozen times... 
> 
> Since it's almost Halloween, I thought it would be an appropriate time to post it. 
> 
> This isn't something people would classify as "fluffy". 
> 
> *inserts evil-sounding laughter* 
> 
> You have been warned.... 
> 
> Love you guys!  
> ~Rose

* * *

Chapter 1

_ "Even the moon is less constant than I." _

The full moon looked like the flesh of a corpse amidst a deep black sky. It cast the panes of glass in the gentleman's study with a pale, sickly glow. 

Carved, rustic bookshelves fell from the ceiling, their feet resting on dark-colored hardwood floors. A chandelier hung in the middle of the room - a large, twisted mass of black iron and crystal. The room sprawled from the mahogany doorway past a leather smoking chair, to the powerful wood paneled desk. And behind it, an entire wall of windows that looked out over the expansive property of his estate.

Heero Yuy stood, appearing as bullish and immovable as ever - near worn, tapestry curtains that had been pulled aside to let in the strains of moonlight. He wore a pair of tailored navy slacks and a white button-down dress shirt. The cuffs rolled to his elbows. His suit jacket lay discarded on the back of the chair at his desk. 

A computer monitor on his desk had already switched off from disuse; the man held a silver flask (that at one time might have held scotch or brandy) between his thumb and the rest of the bony fingers of his left hand.

An imposing figure of a grandfather clock stood in one corner of the room, and Relena swore it should have been covered in cobwebs. Its frozen hands claimed it was always two o'clock. The piece added to the strange feeling that every time she visited this room…She stepped into another age. 

Relena shut the door to his study behind her. She clutched at the loose velvet fabric of her skirt as she moved towards her mysterious Friday evening companion.

"You're late." His voice sounded toneless. He raised his flask and sipped from the silver mouth. 

"I didn't think you'd mind." She continued her approach, the heels of her shoes tapped against the scraped wooden planks of the floor. Relena shuffled around the left side of the desk to stand at the opposite end of the panes of glass. "I didn't think you liked my visits." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye - very aware that he was watching her. 

"And yet you still come." One corner of his mouth curved up in a smile that could only be called… 

‘Malicious.’ Relena shuddered and turned to look out the window; she placed a hand on the cold glass. Her fingers trembled and she took a deep breath to steady her voice. "Of course I do. I'm a doctor." She dropped her hand and turned to her ‘host’. "We live to inconvenience people's lives. Usually while claiming to better them." 

He let out a short, sardonic laugh. "Quantity of life outranks quality of life is the motto of your kind."

She offered him a small smile and lifted her gaze to meet his. "Indeed."

"Then you're a blight on the profession, doctor." He shook his head and took another swig from his flask. "You seem to value quality at the expense of quantity."

She turned to gaze out at the moon garden beyond the glass. White and silver foliage glowed against a dark backdrop of more traditional bushes and trees. A large stone fountain occupied the far right corner of the garden; she could just make out the tinkling sound from its water feature.

The estate grounds stretched for several miles beyond this small patch of well-tended greenery, but this is where they spent their Friday evenings together - inside his study (where he presumably put in a full days’ work), admiring his moon garden. And playing some game...she had no words for. "You expected something else?"

"Never."

She glanced at him, again, then looked away. Silence slipped between them to perch on the edge of his leather chair like the anxious presence of a chaperone in another place and time.

The breeze roused leaves of the nicotiana plants situated around an arrangement of angel's trumpets and night-blooming jasmine. Relena turned to face him, her heart sore. She let her gaze linger. 'I want to remember…' 

His shoes were a dark reddish brown, rounded at the front with seams at the toe and heel. The cuffs of his pants just brushed the laces. A crisp crease led her eyes up to his waist - to a thin, gold buckle. His white dress shirt looked like it had been starched before the wearer had insolently cuffed and wrinkled the fabric of the sleeves.

The collar and first two buttons were undone. Relena followed the breadth of pale skin of his chest up the line of his neck to just beneath his earlobe. He had a strong jaw, which gave way to a pointed chin. And full lips that were neither tan nor pink, but some perfect, tempting, color in-between. His cheekbones were high and pronounced above slightly hollow cheeks. Shadows fell across his eyes – cast by the moonlight's inability to penetrate the wild strands of his rich, umber hair.

"I told Pagan to bring tea when you arrived."

She started and turned her attention back to the garden outside the window. "Thank you." Relena felt a wave of nausea roll up from her stomach and into her chest. The ill feeling grew feet and stomped on her lungs. She held her breath and cast a sidelong glance in his direction. His eyes looked glassy and he seemed to glare up at the twilight – like he did most nights she found him here. 

"The moon…it seems brighter tonight."

He didn't respond.

"Does…" she swallowed against something lodged in her throat. "Does looking at it bring you comfort, Heero?"

"Comfort?" His shoulders pulled back and he turned, slowly, to fix her with a cold stare.

"That it hasn't changed…” Her mouth felt dry. “S-since you—"

The door creaked open behind her. Relena turned to see the familiar butler Pagan carrying a large, silver platter. The man’s skin wore a grayish pallor; wrinkles etched into his features. A full head of white hair was parted neatly to one side. He stooped to place the tray on his employer’s desk then raised his head. Dark eyes smiled. 

"Tea, miss. Shall I pour it for you?"

"Yes, thank you, Pagan. With honey and lemon please."

"With pleasure, Miss." He nodded his head and lifted the silver tea pot. Relena returned to staring at the arrangement of night bloomers.

"Feeling ill tonight, doctor?" Heero’s voice sounded strangely close to her ear. She glanced over her shoulder to see - he hadn’t moved..

Her heart lurched and began to race. "I…You know by now, I find tea comforting." She turned to accept the delicate china cup from Pagan. "My mother made it with honey and lemon for me as a child when I was sick."

The butler smiled at her, then turned and bowed in Heero's direction. The gentleman nodded at Pagan before directing a smug look at his guest. "Have you found your cure, yet, doctor?"

"I…" She stared at the dark, reddish-brown liquid in her cup. The tang of lemon overpowered the flavor of the tea. "No. I have not."

Moments passed in silence. Relena sipped at her tea and turned to admire the twinkling sky.

'Will this be the last night that I—'

A light chuckle sounded from his corner of the room. It grew louder and louder until it became a roar. 

Her entire body trembled. She set the tea cup on the saucer and tried to hold them still. "You're laughing at me."

"Yes." He turned to face her, his mouth stretched in a cruel grin. "It seems you've finally given up." He placed the cap on his flask and stepped away from the wall of glass.. 

"Have you come to pay your debt?"

"I am…" The cup quaked against the saucer as she placed the china on his desk. "…unable to continue my work." She gasped for air; her heart pounded in her ear and the room swirled around her.

"And tell me, doctor," he sneered. "Why are you unable to continue your work?" She saw his shoes blur and then move closer. "Your work that you claimed to be so important to you." 

She took a step back. "M-my work is important to me." She tilted her head to look at him. Gone was the rare, weird grin. His eyes glowed red. Like blood. 

"I chose this experiment. I fought for it. I've done everything…" She took a breath and tried to steady her voice. "More than everything I could have done.” She folded her hands together - to stop their tremors. "And you laugh at me. Why?"

The right side of his mouth curved. "Because you're a fool, Relena." He took another step closer. And then another. "And I told you that you were a fool the first night you came to me with your bright hopes and naïve ideas."

She retreated another step; her hand reached out - almost with a mind of its own - to grasp the long, sturdy curtains. "You've been humoring me all this time." She gasped for air. "And I wanted, at one time, to prove you wrong."

"Yes. And you are nothing if not determined, doctor. It is…something I admire in you." He raised one, dark eyebrow. His eyes reverted to a deep sapphire blue. "Grudgingly."

"Thank you." Another night, she would have laughed. He'd always had a strange sense of humor. But tonight… Relena stepped closer to the window, still holding on to the curtains - as if they could hold her upright. "But, I-I stopped trying to prove you wrong some time ago." She bowed her head. A dull ache behind her eyes began to throb through her skull. "Heero. The more I studied…the more I learned about you – the man that you are—"

"Were." His tone sounded sharp, like a warning: "Relena."

She spun around. "Are. It's a virus that's changed you. You're a man with an illness, an illness that…."

He held her gaze as he uncapped his flask and took another sip. "I am a vampire, Relena." His lips pursed together in an expression that was equal parts...amused and dangerous. He sat down on the edge of his desk.

"Viruses can be killed." She stepped away from the window; closer to the vampire that had become her… Study? Host. Friend? Something else entirely... 

"Viruses can be cured."

"The way your AIDS virus has been cured?" He placed his flask on the desk and stood up. "You humans can't find a cure for the common flu." He turned his back and started towards his 'side' of the room.

"Heero. I-I'm so sorry." Her hands twisted together at her waist. "I wanted…so much…to save you."

He pivoted and threw a glance back over his shoulder. "I will not die, Relena."

"No." She took a deep breath. "You won’t. But I…" 

Her eyes slipped closed. "I will."

* * *

Heero stared at the doctor - he was having a devil of a time figuring out her thoughts tonight. The low-cut red velvet dress was a stark contrast to the high-collar blouses and suits she usually wore. Her skin looked whiter than usual, and it puckered into a thousand little bumps all over her chest. She wore her blond hair up in some polished style he didn't care for, but it exposed her long, elegant neck. And she smelled delicious. Like blood…

"I will not die, Relena," he said in a low voice. He felt his eye teeth lengthen; they bit into his bottom lip.

"No." She took a deep breath and wrung her hands at her waist. 

In his mind, he saw a flash of something…  _ Anxiety. Blood. _ He shook his head, but nothing clear would come from her. Over these past two years, she had learned well how to block her thoughts from him.

"You won't. But I…" Her hands dropped to her sides. "I will."

Heero turned and moved in her direction. "Yes. You'll die, Relena. All humans die. But you're one who thinks death holds some virtue." He stepped closer. Her carotid artery pulsed beneath that velvet choker. He wanted to touch…. 

"You wish for me to die, too." His hand reached out—

Her fingers flew up to her neck. "That's…" She inched backwards. Her voice faltered. "…not true." She finished in a whisper.

Her skin smelled like sweet, fragrant blood – with notes of vanilla and jasmine. He leaned forward. A single taste… For his victory.

_ Her voice echoed in his mind: 'I'm sorry, Heero.'  _

He froze. "Tell me why you're here."

She pulled away and floated in the direction of the window. "Does looking at it…bring you comfort?"

"You already asked that question." He gnashed his teeth and felt something change in the air. Tension gripped his shoulders and a powerful, dark, sucking feeling he recognized as ‘rage’ began to pull at his insides. 

"You didn't answer."

The vampire glared at her back. "Why should it bring me comfort?" He stormed after her and pulled her around to face him.

Her blond head tilted back and she gave him a small smile. "Why should you spend so much time looking at it?" Her blue-green eyes glittered.

"I look at it because I cannot look at the sun." He moved closer. She shuffled backwards, her high heels scraping against the floor. "It's the brightest light I can see…" He took another step. She backed away. 

"There may be brighter ones. Humans may even believe they can copy the sun… But this is the brightest one I know." He pushed against the mental barrier protecting her thoughts. It wavered, but held. 

She turned and placed one hand on the window as if she meant to touch the moon itself. 

"And it's the only one I wish to know." The skin of his back burned and felt cold at the same time. He could forcefully open the door to her mind - if he wanted to. But. They had made an agreement...

"And all along I thought it reminded you… Th-that it was the one constant…the one thing that didn't and wouldn't change from the days when you were human."

"Even the moon is less constant than I, Relena." He sighed and settled himself into his chair. ‘This woman…’

"But the moon has hung in that sky since before you were born. Hasn't it, Heero?"

__ He growled. _ ‘ _ Why this line of questioning? It bores me….’

"It ages. The same way this planet grows older. Your scientists claim that asteroids and comets strike its surface…" He spun his chair to face her. "It is weathered. It changes, has changed since the first time I saw it." 

‘So have you.’

"I..." Her left hand came up to toy with the velvet choker at her neck.  _ 'The virus still changes your—' _

The vampire hissed. "I don't change, Relena."

"You changed…once." Her aquamarine eyes clouded and she turned her gaze to the floor. Heero caught another flash, just a glimpse of her thoughts. A feeling… 

_ Guilt. _

_ Blood dripping from an arm… _

_ Drops hitting a white, tiled floor.  _

"Just…promise me that you won't forget—"

_ A needle. _

‘Something...is wrong.’ Heero opened his eyes and leapt to his feet. "You haven't answered  my question, doctor." 

"What question?" 

Why are you here?" He moved closer and they began their dance again. He'd step forward, she'd fall back. "I sense fear from you…."

"Heero…" The back of her heels hit the wall with a light ‘thud’.

He raised his arm and stopped when his fingers met the soft strands of her hair. "You're not to leave…" He willed the pins from her hair. They hit the floor in quick succession. Ping! Ping! Clang! Her hair floated down to her shoulders. He separated a lock from the rest. "…this world for some time, yet. Unless I decide to change that."

She turned her head to stare in the direction of the window. The pieces of her hair fell from his grasp. 

"Relena." 

_ The needle fell to the floor. _

She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "I already chose to die for you."

_ Someone…a man; he had no face - he rushed to her side.  _

"Die for me?" Something twisted inside his chest, and that dark, sucking feeling surged through his body. It burned away his insides, leaving him hollow. Razed. Raw.

Her block was faltering, but she was still straining to keep him out. 

"This…is goodbye, Heero." She pushed away from the wall and stepped again in the direction of the windows. He watched her go. Her back and shoulders straight. "I came here tonight to say goodbye." 

Heero frowned and pressed his eyes closed. He pictured the door to her mind - frail and cracking. The vampire threw mental force at the block she was holding. The door budged open. He peered inside; a memory played in the room beyond...

_ "Doctor Darlian!" A man patted her cheek.  _ " _ Hold on! _ "

_ "The blood…what—" She gasped for air as something rushed through her system and leeched ounces of strength from her body. Relena sagged to the floor. _

_ A gray haze. The sound of voices: "Get someone in here. I'm replacing the tourniquet, she's—I don't know what's happening!" _

The sound of his fist hitting the wall echoed throughout the room. He stomped towards her. The vampire grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around.

"What. Have. You. Done." He felt the empty chasm inside his chest turn ice cold; his hands shook where he grasped her arm.

She wrenched from his grasp and fled around the side of his desk. 

"Relena!" His voice thundered; he willed her to stop. 

She froze in place like he held her around the throat. And her hands…they pulled at something invisible that held her there. 

"I-I thought I isolated the infectious pieces of the virus. To create a therapeutic vaccine, I needed to synthesize antibodies, but…" Her eyes pleaded for him to let her go.

He gritted his teeth but released her. "Relena…"

She leaned her left hand on top of his desk. "We…" She heaved for air for a few seconds before standing up again. When she had righted herself, she continued. "I didn't have a test subject to—"

"Test subject?"

"For…for the vaccine."

"So, you test it on me."

"I-I couldn't. It was your blood that I used to develop the drug. I needed—" 

_ 'I wanted to save you.' _

His stomach turned to lead and he leapt forward, catching her by both arms. "Tell me…Tell me you didn't…." His voice didn’t sound like his; it was loud, panicked. She couldn’t...She wasn’t permitted to leave him. 

Not again...

She shook her head. "They don't know how it attached itself. But, it's spreading…at an alarming rate through my system." She took a step away from him. His hands fell, useless at his sides. 

"I've…been relieved of my duties and sent home to wait for the inevitable."

His fingernails dug into the palms of his hands. "And how long—"

"A few days," she whispered. "Maybe a couple of weeks, at most."

He stumbled backwards, but managed to catch himself on the edge of his desk. 

"I'm-I'm sorry." She spoke to the floor. The room around him tilted at an odd angle; he felt the floor rise to meet his backside.

"And this!" He growled, staring at his hands. Pain seared through every vein - like it did when he was starving. "This!" He willed himself back on to his feet. "Is what you wanted for me?"

His words seemed to shake her. Her whole body trembled and it looked like she might collapse to the floor. Her voice quavered. "I realize, now, that m-my reasons were selfish. I h-had no idea how selfish I've been until…until…."

He didn't reply. He couldn’t. It was taking every ounce of his strength to keep the fury contained. 

"I just…" She surged forward and caught his arm. He jerked, but only succeeded in loosening her grasp. "I don't want you to give up. Please." Her fingers slid over the top of his hand. "Find someone you trust. I'll leave all my notes and records for you."

He trapped her fingers against the pad of his hand and resisted the urge to snap them. "You're still concerned with your research." 

Her eyes darted up and met his gaze. "No." Her mouth curved up. "I'm much more selfish than that."

Heero snarled. "You still want me to die." He released her hand, but she grabbed his arm again before he could walk away. 

"I want you to live. Not just die."

He seethed at her.

"You're not alive. The you that is you…" She shook her head. "Your body is host to a virus that is killing the man you are. And yet your soul…" 

Her eyes turned down and a sharp pain stabbed through his angry haze: it was her pain. Her anguish… 

"I want you to have your life back, Heero. I want you to—"

"ENOUGH!" He ripped her hand from his sleeve and spun away. "For the last two years, I've heard nothing but what you want for me." He ran a shaking hand through his hair. It was so pale…Blue veins stood out against alabaster skin; like he was a stone likeness of a man. When had he become… ‘Such a monster?’ 

"And yet even you admit you're being selfish." He turned and stalked towards her. She held her ground this time. 

"Why? I didn’t ask for—"

"Because I-I’ve…" Relena met his gaze, her blue-green eyes filled with—"I was never afraid of death. As a doctor, we face death every day. We…" She wet her lips. "But, Heero, I. I've come to…" She took a breath. Her eyes softened and she took his hands in hers. Her skin was so warm. And he could hear, practically feel the blood coursing through the living cells of her body.

"I…I love you."

_ A distant memory invaded his conscience: "If I had one wish. I would spend forever…just like this." _

"But, it makes me afraid." Her voice was a whisper. "Not because I don't want to die. But because I…" She raised one hand to cup his cheek. The scent of her life force pulled at another part of him - urging it to the surface. He felt his eye teeth lengthen and stab the delicate flesh of his lips.

He watched the artery in her neck flutter; the world sharpened and then slowed. Nothing existed but her, her blood…

This hunger.

"Heero, I don't want to spend forever without you."


	2. An Eternal Mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are flashbacks. We flash back to two different periods of time, and I try to denote which is which. Feel free to let me know if something isn't clear / ask questions. In the meantime...
> 
> Happy October. I hope your autumn is going fiendishly well so far....
> 
> Love,  
> ~Rose

* * *

**Immortal Virus**

Chapter 2

_Heero supposed the partygoers thought of themselves as elegant or refined – not overdressed hunks of meat or living, breathing containers of blood._

_He watched them flit about the wood-paneled room through narrowed eyes. Burgundy-colored silk fell in perfect drapes as accent pieces between panels; they flowed over the full-sized windows on the opposite wall. Circles of people formed swarms in various positions around the center of the room. Guests slipped from one small crowd to another as tuxedoed waiters drifted between the groups with large, silver trays, serving foul-smelling food and sparkling beverages._

_The peal of human laughter rose above the din. Heero gritted his teeth and turned to find the door._

_'Why did Dorothy insist I come to this infernal—' He stopped his mental grousing, and halted several thousand miles short of the door. Something, no, someone… He glanced back at the swarm of humans to his immediate left._

_She stood in the center of a small group of people. Chatting with that gentle smile on her features that made her seem…at peace. He'd seen a similar expression on similar features once before, in another time…Another life._

_Newcomers stepped into the small circle, shook her hand, and immediately began babbling._

_"Ah yes, I've been so anxious to meet you, I was just telling Robert, here…"_

_Heero tuned out what they had to say. He moved forward, nearing the edge of the crowd. He craned his neck to get a better view…_

_Her blond hair was tied back in a simple style. She wore a light blue suit with a white-collared shirt, and modest, knee-length skirt. Soft, blue-green eyes only darted his way once._

_"Relena Darlian." A voice purred from behind him. "She's a novice of a research physician, but she's causing some international fuss."_

_He turned around and glanced at the female vampire. She was pale with blond hair that seemed to turn whiter every year. Her dark eyebrows leant her a sinister look - that was well-deserved. "It's no concern of mine, Dorothy."_

_"Perhaps not, but I find her theories on the connection between the human body and soul…" She met his gaze. "Quaint." She smiled around the martini glass holding a dark-colored liquid. Heero knew better than to ask…_

_"I wonder. If she met you." Her grey eyes widened like she was excited. "If she studied you…" Her voice took on a fake, bubbly sound that made his stomach pitch to the floor. "Would she think you had a soul?"_

_He glared at the vampiress, and moved past her towards the door. But Dorothy's voice caught up with him:_

_"Would she finally see its darkness?"_

The vampire found her again in the present. Standing beside him, wearing that deep red velvet gown with the plunging neckline – and the choker that accented the lines (and arteries) of her neck. When he wasn't thinking of tearing out her throat, he couldn't help but consider tearing off her gown.

How long had it been…

"Heero, please. I don't want to spend forever without you."

He turned away and focused on the full moon. He considered it for a moment, and spoke to the celestial body beyond the glass. "You're only in love with your research, doctor. You made that clear."

"That's not true." She shook her head. Her eyes in her reflection turned down. "It was never true. I just…" She lowered her head, and brought her hands up to hover over her waist. She smoothed the fabric there.

_A flash of another time, when she held her hands over her stomach. As she pleaded with him, then, too: "I-I…Aiden, I'm frightened. I believe. I-I believe I'm having your child."  
  
_

A dark, terrible emotion stirred in his stomach, again. But, it was no longer rage...

"It was always a fight with you, Heero. And I couldn't…You left me no room to be weak. To appear weak." She gasped for air and the vampire wondered if she might collapse right here, in his study. 

He caught a glimpse of his own reflection - his fangs bared, his face contorted as he tried to retain control...

"To have these feelings for you. You told me you didn't—"

He growled at the woman in the glass, then turned to level a glare at her directly. "Have I not given you everything you asked for? You are the one that has refused me." He snarled as he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. 

"Refused you?"

"When I offered to let you remain by my side, to give you—"

"You offered to turn me into a vampire!" She struggled out of his grip. "The very first night we met, how could I accept…"

He reached for her again, but she shuffled backwards. "Such an offer? I knew nothing about what you were or who you were."

Heero grabbed her arm. He held it up between them. But, she was still fighting him.

"Or that what you were saying—"

"You've known me…" He stopped when he sensed her thoughts of confusion. "You still came. Here. All these nights. With your high collars and your talk of fairy tales. As if either of which could stop me from taking what I want."

He pulled her by the arm, holding it above her shoulders - until she was a breath away. "And now that you're facing your own death, you come to me in that dress," he let his eyes drift down to the top of her gown. Her breasts heaved against the crimson fabric. "And with your confession…" The veins pulsed in her neck. He felt his mouth water. "What are you after, doctor?" The scent of blood and flowers drifted up from her skin. He closed his eyes for a moment. Intoxicating...

She met his gaze; she looked pale. Sickly pale - like all the life had fled from her body. He kept her arm up, and he wondered if that was the only thing holding her upright. 

"I just wanted to tell you the truth. All our…games, our disagreements." She blinked back tears. He released her. 

"None of that matters anymore. I just wanted to tell you I care about you, and to ask you…" Her eyebrows rose, and her eyes – without their usual shine – seemed to plead with him.

"Ask me?"

"Not to keep me waiting too long." Her hands grasped the cuff of his shirt. "Please. Don't—"

He laughed and jerked his arm from her hold. 

"You still mock me," her voice pitched up an octave. "Even—"

"Relena…" He moved closer. Her eyes grew wide, her breasts rose up and down inside the fabric of her dress. 

"You cannot leave me," he kept his voice low and even when he spoke. Her eyelids fluttered. "Unless I let you." He reached for her, he let his fingers brush her bare shoulder before continuing up to the base of her neck.

He pulled the scrap of velvet from her throat. 

"Heero…" The vampire released the fabric, and pulled her near.

"Relena…" He leaned closer. She had such fair skin with perfect, blue veins. He felt his eye teeth lengthen, and he tilted her head. Her carotid artery quivered. The vampire bent forward— 

Her eyes snapped open and she moved away.

Heero growled. "You’ve made promises, doctor. Promises you haven't delivered."

The memory of that night appeared in his mind...

_"I've isolated the contaminate in your blood. We're still examining it, but it seems to possess certain characteristics that are consistent with viral antigens." She spoke to him from the doorway, without even waiting for Pagan to arrive with her tea._

_Heero sighed and turned away from his window. She stood there in that boorish grey suit with that white blouse that looked like it was from over a century ago. "And?"_

_"And. If it's a virus." A smile came to her lips. "There's a possibility…a remote possibility that you could be cured."_

She took another step back. Her eyes darted wildly around the room. He moved closer. "You remember our agreement, doctor."

_"Cured." He sipped the ice-cold blood from his flask. "But doctor, you're mistaken. I'm not ill."_

_"You…" She drew closer, her hands clasped in front of her, her hair spilling around her shoulders. "You could stop."_

_He sensed an increase in heart rate, and there was a flash of something in her mind an instant before she froze in place. "You wouldn't have to kill. Or live forever."_

_"And what do you want from me?"_

Her left hand flitted up to her throat. Her complexion turned a shade darker as her skin's capillaries dilated and allowed fresh blood to its surface. The scent— "Heero," she shook her head, "don't…" She backed into the wall. He grinned.

"There's still one way to prevent what you fear." He cupped the back of her neck once again. The muscles of her shoulders trembled. "Only one way…"

"No." She looked up and stared him straight in the eye. Her blood, the smell stirred his insides until he couldn't think. He knew it was written on his face – he'd seen the way vampires changed just before they fed; but, she didn't flinch. "Heero, it's not—"

He bent closer and whispered in her ear. "You could continue your research."

Her shoulder came up to cover that side of her neck. "Don't. You shouldn't…"

"And what is the point of having power if it's never to be used, Relena?" He stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You are stuck with your notion of God and goodness in that human body with its pathetic limits." He traced a line down to her neck. "And I promised…."

_"And what do you want from me?" He took another sip from his flask._

_"I…" She stared into his eyes. "I need more of your blood. And a test subject."_

_Excitement. Joy. A desire to touch him._

_She paced around his desk to stand on her side of the room. "I'd need to test the candidate vaccinations—"_

_"What are you offering?"_

_She turned around and met his gaze. Her shoulders squared. "A cure."_

_"And if I don't want your…cure?"_

_She frowned. "Then my…my blood. In exchange for yours."_

"Heero…" Her eyelids flittered. 

The scent…the sound of the rapid beating of her heart… It swirled through his head and weighted his eyes – the way alcohol did when he was human. She trembled in his grip. Her muscles strained as she fought him; they pressed the artery of her neck against fragrant, pink skin. Heero bent his head and licked the side of her throat. He heard the gasp of air a second before she went completely rigid in his grasp.

"Relena…." He closed his eyes. The taste of her fused with the scent of blood…He curled back his upper lip and found the pulsing artery with the needle tip of his fangs. 

Nails clawed at his shoulder as he sunk into her… The flood of memories began, as sweet as the flow of blood.

_"You come to a party to hide in shadows away from everyone?" Her voice floated out onto the balcony from behind him._

_The night air chilled the blood in his veins. It made him thirst for something...someone warm. Though the autumn moon revealed three quarters of its surface, hazy clouds drifted in, obscuring its brightness - casting, to her point, most of the balcony in shadows. She had heard him; his call..._

_Heero didn't turn around. "Yes."_

_"I suppose that's more interesting than introducing yourself and getting to know people." Her voice, and the woman herself, grew closer._

_"Is it?" He glanced over his shoulder as she came to stand beside him._

_"Oh yes. At least, I think so. You can be the eternal mystery."_

_"Eternal mystery. But can such a thing exist with you in this world?" He lifted from his position leaning against the railing and pivoted to face her._

_"Meaning?"_

_"You seem to be intent on solving the world's eternal mysteries. Seems that I would be an endangered species." He took a step towards the door._

_"Only if I felt the need to solve you. Which I don't."_

_Heero stopped; he couldn’t help but smile._ _"No? And what if I told you I had many secrets? Would you be intrigued then?" He paced closer._

_"Intrigued, perhaps." She stared down at the city beneath them. "But you assume I want to find out your secrets, shed light on any mystery. That isn't so."_

_"So what captures your attention, doctor? If it's the unsolvable, I meet that requirement."_

_"You seem…" She paused and wet her lips. "A dangerous study." She turned and started towards the door._

_"I am a dangerous study. Are you…frightened of me?"_

_Relena stopped and glanced over her shoulder at him. One eyebrow rose. "Should I be?"_

"Heero…" She sagged against him. The infernal woman who infected him like the virus she spoke of lifted her head and fixed him in the light of her blue-green eyes. Her body trembled in his embrace. Her skin whitened. Heero pushed strands of hair out of her face. "I will not let you die this time, Relena."

Tears came to her eyes. "But…"

"Sleep." Her fragile body shook violently. He tightened his grip on her waist – pulling her so tight against him that he felt every curve…and the waning heat in her body.

_Her eyes widened and her thin eyebrows pinched into a frown. "A vampire?"_

_He waited for her to laugh or shake her head. There was a slight chance that she would believe him and back away…. Instead, she inclined her head as if she meant to study him._

_"I don't believe in vampires." She leaned forward and stretched out a hand._

_He stared at her. Her fingers touched his forehead._

_"You're…you're so cold." Her voice was a whisper. She moved strands of his hair and pressed her palm flat against his head – for just a second before her hand slid down to cup his cheek. The move exposed the inside of her wrist to his view. He could see the blue veins just under her skin and he caught the scent of her…mingled with her perfume._

_He met her gaze. In an instant, she withdrew – like she'd just been burned._

_Heero caught her arm. The vampire pulled her hand back to its previous position. Her fingers only lightly resting on his cheek, he leaned in to the scent flowing from her wrist._

_He heard her hiss and the sharp intake of breath._

_Heero opened his eyes. A drop of blood appeared on her skin. It traced a slow, tempting path down her wrist. He met her gaze and took his time lapping up the sweet, red fluid._

_"Then what am I, doctor?"_

He bent over her again and soothed his tongue over the wound at her throat.

"Uhhhh…" She moaned and shifted against him. It reminded him of that human part of his body…That other insatiable thirst she managed to awaken whenever she was near.

The scent of her… The taste… Her warmth…. He sunk his teeth into her again.

Blood flowed across his lips and tasted like cool water after a long day spent riding under the hot sun. But the flavor of her skin…Her body pressed against his…

Her breathy moans while he took her life force into his body…

Another memory surfaced, one he’d thought, hoped, was lost:

_"Aidan!" The girl struggled beneath him. He grabbed her wrists, pushed her arms over her head and pinned her against the stone settee._

The vampire shoved her away. Blood dripped onto the floor and continued flowing down her neck. Her eyes closed, she sagged back against the wall for an instant before she crumpled to the ground.

"Did you call for me to watch you kill her?"

  
  



	3. Aiden and Katrina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN1: In case anyone wants a soundtrack to this story, it's Time by Sarah McLachlan and Breathe no More by Evanescence.
> 
> AN2: Warning - reference to (past) non-consensual sex. 
> 
> AN3: Warning - reference to (past) torture.
> 
> AN4: Warning - reference to (past) child death. :(

* * *

Chapter 3

Heero’s arms locked around Relena’s body, trapping her against his chest. Her feet lifted off the floor. She floated…with only his arms to keep her from drifting away. She clutched at his sleeves. His lips caressed her neck…

Something sharp and strange stung her skin. And then a memory played in her mind - thick and murky, like a film projected on dark glass.

But, the memory belonged to someone else.

_She couldn’t stare at him from across the room. That would be impolite. Instead, she darted glances in his direction, whenever a break in conversation occurred. Or when her chaperone would look the other way. Aiden Lowe possessed brilliant blue eyes set in healthy, lightly bronzed features - tinged with pink. His dark brown locks fell in thick peaks across his forehead and looked just a bit wilder than the current fashion._

_The Lowe family raised cattle. And though only newly situated in the territory that some called "Missouri", several of the debutantes already had their eye on Aiden - and his younger brother. Although rumors circulated in certain circles about his family’s associations…_

_Behind closed doors, people whispered that his father invested in (and frequented) a notorious brothel in town..._

_And thus, despite her admiration, her parents forbade any more intimate association with the wealthy Lowe family - favoring, instead, her arrangement with the heir to the Winner family fortune. Quatre Winner and his father were building a new steamboat that could navigate the Mississippi River. Trading, apparently, proved an equally lucrative business to raising cattle._

_Katrina held nothing particular against the young Mr. Winner. He behaved in a kind and gentle manner whenever he came to call on her. He just failed to capture her attention the way Mr. Lowe’s dark eyes…_

_"Ms. Peacecraft?"_

_Katrina drew in a sharp breath; her heart jumped as she turned around to look at the gentleman who had addressed her. She fixed her mouth into a small smile and curtsied to show her respect to the young Mr. Winner. She glanced at her sister-in-law’s form a few feet away - her chaperone most evenings._

_The gentleman tipped his hat and gave her a polite inclination of his head from an appropriate distance. His fair hair dipped into light-colored eyes with the movement. He brushed the strands aside with the back of gloved hands._

_Formerly shut away in discussions with her father and the host of the evening’s private party, the young gentleman clearly wasn’t staying for the ball._

_"I apologize for neglecting you. I was summoned on business." His blond eyebrows contracted in the center of his forehead._

_"Oh, I assure you, I do not feel neglected. I am well aware of the difficulties and demands of your business."_

_"Ah, of course," his brow smoothed and the young man appeared relieved. "Your father, no doubt, has similar demands upon his time and attention."_

_"When he is here, and not in England, he can spare very little time for his daughter,”she said with a sigh. “Man was born free, and everywhere he is in chains."_

_"Pardon?"_

_"I was merely quoting Rousseau. Your time is not your own, it seems. As if you were in chains."_

_"I," his brow furrowed, "am well compensated for my time, I assure you, Ms. Peacecraft. So, tell Mr. Rousseau not to worry."_

_She nodded and looked away._

_"But, I am afraid that I must take my leave, this evening. I hope you will forgive me." He lifted his hat from his head and gave her a formal bow._

_"Of course. Good evening, Mr. Winner."_

_"Good evening."_

_He took his leave and exited the ballroom. Katrina sighed. ‘Mr. Rousseau is only worried about your lack of knowledge of who he is…’ She thought and turned back to watch the dancers as they continued their quadrille. Her chaperone still hovered nearby. Katrina snuck a glance in the direction of the object of her previous ruminations. But, the young Mr. Lowe-_

_"Would you grant me the honor of this dance?" A deep voice rumbled from behind her. She whirled around just in time to see Mr. Lowe execute a brief but graceful bow to punctuate his invitation._

_Katrina tried to answer, but her voice stuck somewhere in her throat. Or her lungs. She found it difficult to breathe._

_He looked at her, his penetrating gaze meeting hers. Katrina’s knees turned to something mushy and she almost fell when he took her hand and placed it on his arm._

_"I...Yes, of course. I would love to."_

Relena tried to lift her head. Her heartbeat slogged in her ears as her heart struggled to move blood through her veins. Something pulled at her consciousness; hazy light crept beneath her eyelids. The vampire who appeared much like the ‘forbidden’ man in her dream lifted her. 

The tips of needles. 

Something bit her arm. 

Cold darkness pulled her in once again.

_His hand at the back of her waist burned a hole through her dress. It warmed the blood beneath her skin until the air in the room turned cool... But nothing in the world felt as heated as his stare._

_The way he gazed at her whenever she dared to look. Blue eyes the color of the midnight sky…His dark hair casting shadows across his face._

_"Do you not speak with your dancing partner, sir?"_

_He met her gaze, and the air between them caught fire. "I have nothing to say."_

_"And yet your thoughts seem heavy to look at you."_

_"Do they?" One eyebrow rose._

_"Yes. Very heavy. As if…too much weighs on your shoulders. Can you not enjoy yourself this night?"_

_"Depends on your meaning."_

_"My…meaning? What else could I mean but—"_

_"My definition of pleasure may not be what you intended."_

_"Then tell me what it is you find pleasure in. Since it would seem dancing is not to your liking."_

_A sly smile. "You would call me a scoundrel to hear it."_

_"I do not consider myself so ill—"_

_"And I haven't the mind to chase you off just yet."_

Voices rose and changed. The room morphed into something else entirely. A dark cavern. A large, black window. 

He stood with his back towards her, pale features reflected in the panes of glass. A cold look etched on his face. 

Unyielding. 

Familiar…

_Aiden walked alongside her, down the cobbled path cut amongst the shining blossoms in the Khrushrenada’s night garden - the crowning jewel of their family friends’ estate. The foolish girl in her missed his touch._

_"The night sky out here is breathtaking," she said and turned to cup one of the blooms with her hand. "You should take care, Mr. Lowe."_

_"Of what, Miss Peacecraft?"_

_She glanced at him, and then at the terse features of her chaperone. She lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "People may begin to gossip."_

_"And what new things could they have to say about someone who ‘lurks in shadows and skulks in darkness’, as you put it earlier?"_

_"They may say you have reformed your ways and turned romantic. Escorting me through gardens at twilight to stroll beneath the stars."_

_"It is a private garden."_

_"So your reputation is safe?"_

_He leaned down - a little too close. "Perhaps you are the one who should take care."_

_She smiled at the wicked feeling of his nearness. Her heart leapt in her chest. "And what have I to fear?"_

* * *

A steady beep from the corner of the room sent a constant reminder that she hadn't left him.

‘At least…not yet.’ Heero shook his head and the thought from his mind. ‘No. This time…she is stronger _._ ’ 

The black sky hung just beyond the window of his master suite; the moon still floated high above the thick wall of trees shrouding his estate from prying eyes.

And the memories: thick and tangible, they hovered like cobwebs - created by a living creature, yet designed to steal life... 

_Katrina threw open the door and stepped into the room. She called out to him: "Aiden? So this is-"_

_"You have barged into my study and interrupted my work—"_

_"How can you, still!" Tears spilled down her cheeks and she wrung her hands in front of her. "How can you still be so cold?"_

He spun around and moved closer to the bed. Relena’s features remained ghostly pale. The latest blood pack Pagan brought - drained almost empty…

_"Did you call for me to watch you kill her?" Dorothy’s voice sounded from the doorway of his study. In a flash! She moved - so quickly, Heero almost didn’t see her. The vampiress knelt by the doctor’s side. Her features contorted as Dorothy inhaled, a dazed smile appearing on her thin, white lips. She leaned over Relena-_

_"No! I don’t want-"_

_"She’s lost too much blood," the vampiress said and turned to face him. The marks on the doctor’s skin had disappeared. "What is it you expect me to do that you cannot?"_

_"Save her."_

_Dorothy’s mouth opened and she shot up from the floor. "You wish me to bring her o—"_

_"Not that way."_

_"And what other way is there?" She hissed. Dorothy placed a hand on her hip and leaned forward._

_"Ahem." Pagan’s gravelly voice sounded from the doorway. "Please forgive my interruption. Master Yuy, I have brought the supplies you requested."_

_Heero turned towards his faithful friend and servant. "Thank you."_

_"The blood bank will not miss them, I think," Pagan said and exited the room again._

_Something hit his shoulder. Dorothy glared at him. "You wish me to give her more human blood?"_

_"Yes…"_

_"But, the last—"_

_"Do not argue with me." He bent down and scooped Relena’s body from the floor. "We have no time."_

_"She's dying. And you have the power to keep her from leaving you, again." The vampiress struck him again. And again._

_Heero caught her arm with his mind. "Do you want to find out how immortal you really are?"_

The transfusion finished. Pagan swept into the room and removed the needle from Relena's arm. He bandaged the small wound. Heero’s butler wrung out the cloth on her forehead and replaced it with another. Her brow contracted. A low moan hushed from her lips.

"If you do not mind my asking, sir…"

"The truth. For your service."

"What is she to you?"

His insides churned into a knot.

"From the beginning, it was like she was someone…dear to you. A distinction I've never seen you make with anyone else."

Heero turned back to stare out the windows. "I...killed her. In another lifetime."   
  


_"Aiden, I-I’m frightened."  
  
_

Heero closed his eyes and released the block in his mind. The pain...Anguish and grief surged through him like a hot tidal wave laced with acid - burning and grating along every surface…

"I didn't have to spill her blood myself. But. I did her a great wrong. And I have suffered with the knowledge I brought about her end…all these years."

"So it's only guilt you feel for her?"

* * *

_"What sort of man hides in the shadows and skulks about in darkness?" Katrina stepped out into the cool night air._

_Aiden gave no response._

_"Do you have a secret vocation as a vandal or a thief?"_

_"If I did, would it not be a dangerous thing to admit?"_

_"Perhaps." She smiled as the October breeze rifled her hair. "But, perhaps you are foolish. As only foolish men would choose such employment, I think." His gaze burned the skin of her cheeks._

_"Then would I have the wits to hide in shadows and skulk about?"_

_"Hm. Perhaps not." Her eyes met his. He took a step closer. "So are you then the sort of man who is so dangerous, that even in revealing yourself - you cannot be caught?"_

_A smile, then; just a tilt of full, pinkish-tan lips. Dark lashes framed his eyes. "You have quite the imagination."_

_"Do I? But you must admit that standing about in darkness lends oneself to be the subject of another's imagination." She stood beside him, careful to keep the appropriate distance since her sister-in-law was watching. Always watching._

_"Only if the lady has nothing better to occupy her thoughts."_

_"I confess," she said with an affected sigh. "I find little joy in this affair. Is that why you are out here as well?"_

_A small noise sounded from his throat."What do you believe?"_

_"I believe…" She met his gaze. Her heart dropped into her stomach."You must be lonely."_

Relena blinked her eyes open. It took some effort to lift her eyelids… Darkness greeted her with outstretched arms. The room felt cold and empty. A dim light the only indication her eyes were actually open instead of closed.

"Heero?" Her voice rasped in her throat. She choked and coughed. Her mouth felt dry.

A woman with long, platinum hair and wearing a silver gown separated from the shadows. She smiled and light glinted off of sharpened teeth…

"How are you feeling?"

"I…" She coughed again. The doctor willed her body to sit up, but something heavy and invisible sat on her chest. "Wh-what happened?"

"We…drained most of your blood and—"

Relena groaned; something hot and urgent flashed through her. She struggled against the unseen mass weighting her to the mattress. She kicked and squirmed! Then a soothing calm flowed from the other woman.

_‘Relax…’_ A voice whispered in her mind.

"You're still human. At least, for the moment."

"Wh-who-" Her eyelids felt heavy. "Are…you?"

"I'm someone who owes you…a debt greater than you can imagine." She floated to Relena’s bedside. The palm of the other woman’s hand felt ice-cold against her forehead and cheek.

"I don't…I don't understand."

"I wronged you greatly, Relena."

Haze drifted into her brain. The kind that meant Heero was there, probing her memory. She tried to block him out. Relena wanted to focus on this woman - the words ushering from her lips in a stilted accent - like how Heero sometimes spoke..."We've never…We've never—"

"We didn't have to meet. Though I watched you…."

_‘Relax…’_

The voice in her head didn’t belong to her visitor. She groaned and felt the urge to weep. Every vein throbbed and ached throughout her body. Her stomach turned and the air around her changed to living, visible particles scurrying about the room. She lay back against the pillow.

"You must have seen his memories of you. When a vampire drains his victim, it is…even more intimate than a man's sex entering your body."

Relena remembered his fangs; the needle tips against - inside her artery. Draining. 

Feeding.

Straining...To keep her out. Of someplace deep inside.

But she saw the other, too….

_Katrina struggled beneath him. Aiden grabbed her wrists, pushed her arms over her head and pinned her against the stone settee. His fingers traveled up her thigh..._

_She twisted her arms against his grip. But, he held fast. "No." The word left her lips. He stilled above her – one hand holding her down, the other at a tender place on her leg. He stared down at her, his blue eyes glinted in the moonlight._

_"I warned you, Katrina."_

_"Aiden… I-I would become your mistress if it would not ruin m—"_

_"You should have considered as much before you came to me at this hour." His breath puffed hot and ragged against her cheek. “Unchaperoned.”_

_His hand touched her most intimate place. She squirmed._

_"Your reputation is already ruined."_

_Something warm and wet touched the lobe of her ear and traced a path down her neck… She closed her eyes and whimpered: "Please…"_

"He went by Aiden, then. Aiden Lowe…And you were Katrina Peacecraft - heiress to a large estate and the object of his intentions." Fangs bared in the moonlight. "And I hated you for it…"

She stood from her place beside Relena’s bed. "So, I took him from you. And changed him. Into what he has become."

Rage pulsed through her system; she fought and struggled, but still couldn’t rise from the bed. "Wh-why? Why did you—"

"He was. Is. Beautiful. You understand. You were willing to ruin yourself for him – then. And now."

Relena felt her eyelids droop, but her mind raced. She mentally roared at the darkness!

"He seduced you. Ruined you. Took everything. And still, like a fool. A sick, diseased fool. You loved him."

The doctor’s mind clawed at a dark door. _‘Heero!’_ She called out to him as the last of her energy seeped away. 

"I…loved him, too. Then." The vampiress’ voice changed. 

A flash of red. Anger saturated Relena’s entire system... 

"But, he was faithful to you until the very end..."

_"You have barged into my study and interrupted my work—"_

_"How can you, still!" Tears spilled down her cheeks and she wrung her hands in front of her. "How can you still be so cold?"_

_He glared at her, mouth pressed into a thin line; his features mottled and red. He sat behind his desk._

_"I-I…Aiden, I'm frightened."_

_His expression didn't change. "Get out."_

_"I believe. I-I believe I'm having your child."_

The vampiress paced to the window and back. Her hands clasped together. "It wasn't until I drained him to the point of death. For months, I kept him…" Her voice seethed in the twilight of the room. "Half-starved and weakened so he could not escape me. I fed from him…Delicious. Strong. Waiting for the day he'd break."

The pull at Relena’s consciousness was too great. She raised her arms and batted at black, cotton clouds.

_"Beg me…" The blond monster’s face twisted into a nightmare. "I could make you immortal. Give you power—"_

_Aiden pulled again at the chains, even though he could barely lift his head. "No."_

_"She believes you abandoned her. And what of your brother?_ _He_ _has taken over your land. What have you worth living for in your pathetic. Human. Existence?"_

_Aiden growled. The pain! It seared and smoked and made him want to die. But, when he shut his eyes, he could see her face: ‘Katrina…’_

_"You know your brother always wanted her. How long before she is in his bed as his mistress…Giving her body to the man who can take care of her?" She grabbed his hair and jerked him to his feet. "He has already made her such an offer."_

_He snarled and shoved her away. "And she has not taken his offer."_

"He lay there, dying, his blood filled with nothing but his thoughts of you. His memories of how he had taken you…." The vampiress leaned over her. She stroked Relena’s hair, pushing it from her forehead. "His shame. His longing. His…love. And I knew," her face gnarled into a ghoulish nightmare. Her eyes blazed red. 

"I had lost. I wanted him to die. And then I realized something." Her eyes cooled back to their blue-ish gray color. They lit and danced in the moonlight; her mouth stretched into a sinister smile.

"The sweetest revenge would be to let him live."

* * *

Relena's eyes snapped open. She glanced around the room. Gone was the female vampire, as well as the machines. The window along the wall left open, starlight crept in on tiptoe; a breeze billowed the train on its silver dress.

_His dark eyes lost their glare, and he stood from his chair. "You're—"_

_"Pregnant."_

_His right hand came up to tangle in his dark brown hair. He turned away._

_"Please."_

_Aiden spun around._

_"If-if I am found out…" She moved closer. "I only want my, our, child…to have a home, to be legitimate—"_

_His mouth tightened on one side; it almost looked like a smile. "You want me to marry you."_

_"Yes. Or I am lost. And you should never know your child." She stepped close enough that she could touch him; started to reach for him, then pulled back. "I know you do not love me, but I—"_

_"Are you sure this is not some deception? How would I know if you are really with child? My. Child."_

The memory lifted its veil from her eyes. She felt him there. In the darkness. 

"How long has it been?"

"You died in 1813. June." His voice resounded with a slight echo in the room; she couldn’t see him.

"How…"

"You fell ill during your voyage back to England and never recovered. Our son…" A shaking breath. "Died a few weeks after."

Relena struggled up to a sitting position. "You never told me."

"And what should I have told you?" His outline appeared. "How I – I took you, ruined you," a step closer. His features became more distinct. "Then abandoned you. I caused your death, and the death of your…Our. Son."

"You could have at least told me…that you love me."

"I killed you."

She managed to set her feet on the floor. It took every ounce of strength to stand. "I don’t believe…you had a choice." The room swirled around her; the doctor set her jaw and willed herself to stay on her feet. She stepped towards him. "That if you had—" She spilled forward; Heero caught her arms and held her upright.

"I would have continued to keep you in my miserable company. You should have been another man's wife, but for my selfishness."

 _‘And you would have lived…’_ She heard his thought; felt the cold sting of remorse slap her across the face.

"I was never a good man, Relena." His voice sounded hoarse. Strained. "I haven't changed."

"I saw her memories of you…Or mine? I know I loved you, then. Just like I-I still love you, now." She took his hands in hers. "I'll stay with you. As long as you'll have me. Until the end of my—"

His fingers clutched hers in a vice grip. "No."

"Heero, please." She tried to pull away. "Please understand that I don't want—"

"I didn't choose this."

"And look at how you’ve suffered!"

"Haven’t I always caused your suffering?" He released her and turned away. His shoulders hunched; his head bowed. Relena stumbled after him.

"Heero…" She grabbed his arm to steady herself.

"It’s been more than two hundred years, Relena. I couldn't…" Heero’s face turned white. The ghastly flesh pulled taut over the bony structure of his face. His fangs bared! 

"Don't…" She took a step back. "Please...let me…"

Heero crept closer. His eyes burned red in the darkness.

"Let me keep trying. I-I can find a cure, I—" She froze. He wouldn’t let her move...

He grabbed her chin, tilting it towards her right ear. "You can have all the time you need to find your cure." His voice sounded like silk.

"That's not what I mean." She struggled against his mental grip even as his arm wound around her. Pulling her into his tight embrace. 

"Heero…"

"I'm not burying you again." His fangs, she could swear they lengthened while he held her. 

She clamped her eyes shut. Fear clutched her heart and weeped inside. "I won't fight you. I know I could never win. But!" 

He paused, his mouth whispering against her neck. Relena shivered. "Could I…Could I have one night with you?" She swallowed. "N-not as a vampire. But as a…" What could she say? What could she offer?

"As...your wife." 

Heero straightened; she looked up and watched his face return to that of the man she loved. 

"Remind me…" She reached up and caught his head with both hands. "Show me…Let me be human at least one more night." She pressed her mouth to his and coaxed his lips into a kiss.

'God, please. If you're out there. If you can hear me. If there's any possible way…' 

Heero's hands gripped her waist and pulled her body against his. His sharp teeth cut the sensitive skin of her mouth as he deepened the kiss.

'Please. Save me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said 3 chapters, but when I carved everything up into relatively equivalent parts / stopping places, there were 4 chapters. Lemon will be in the next (last) chapter. Am editing as quickly as I can...
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading!
> 
> Love,  
> ~Rose


	4. Longing, Fate & Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN1: A more direct reference to past non-consensual sex.
> 
> AN2: Less direct references (but references nonetheless) to past torture.
> 
> AN3: Vague reference to (past) child death.

* * *

Chapter 4

'It has been. So long…' Relena's kiss pulled at him, something within him, and Heero found - he lacked the restraint. The will. To resist. 

Her lips fit against his - warm and infused with so much… _'Longing.'_

"Relena…." He removed his shirt, then tore the zipper of her velvet dress down its track. He pushed Relena back into the bed. Her heavy gown lay on the floor behind them. Heero hissed as her lips traced a whispered path down his neck; her hands pulled at the button on his slacks.

His eyes slipped closed; her affection, her warmth so palpable, it seeped into his skin every place she touched him. So different than the first time - his body chilled with lust for power as much as for her body. Her flesh. Her lips.

Heero removed her bra; the strapless bodice so similar to the underthings from that time. "Relena…" He almost choked on her name.

How he longed to see her like this... Light shining in her eyes when she looked at him, moonlight drenching her skin... Silver light puddled along her stomach and the crevices of the front of her arms.

Memories faded and lost their sharpness over the many, many years… Heero remembered every detail about his first victim - the hunt, the hunger, the desolation....

_"I'm a monster," he raised bloodied hands in the waning lamplight, and Aiden shivered. "She would be...so ashamed."_

But, his human life…Before. Before the agony of this...existence. Dorothy insisted she transcribe bits and pieces he related to her in a journal. And the infernal witch forced him to read it once a year.

The words could never fully capture this. Her.

A soothing whisper in his mind. Faint, but there. Relena stared up at him through the darkness. She ran a hand through his hair and pulled him down for another kiss.

_"Aiden… I-I would become your mistress if it would not ruin m—"_

_"You should have considered as much before you came to me at this hour," he rasped against her ear. "Unchaperoned."_

_Her leg brushed against the front of his pants. Something…some voice from the darkest part of his soul rejoiced in the contact. It fueled his lust, and he leaned down to taste her…_

_"Your reputation is already ruined."_

_He bit and sucked his way down her chest. He pushed one knee between her legs and moved the hand from her thigh up to her bosom. Aiden yanked the front of her dress down over her breasts. Beautiful, white skin erupted from its prison. She whimpered, but her struggle ceased._

_He lowered his head to sample the newly exposed flesh…_

He sat on the edge of the bed. Tentative fingertips slipped down the length of his chest. Followed by the heat of her breath, her lips. Her tongue. He closed his eyes and let her continue – trying to quell one kind of hunger building inside him while allowing desire of another sort to build, and heat his blood.

"Were you," she murmured, her palms smoothing over the length of his shoulders. "Was your body always…"

He brushed his thumb over her cheek. "Cold?"

"Your musculature…your skin…" Aqua-blue eyes met his gaze; long, black lashes dusted high cheekbones. "Everything is so perfect. But, yes, it's—"

"I've always been cold."

She lifted the corners of her lips. "Even to me?"

_She lay there, looking so…so perfectly at peace. His wife, now; he had won, and the Winner family would not make the alliance with the Peacecrafts - giving preference to the livestock and goods the young woman's family proffered. No familial alliance meant preventing the Winners from expanding, and competing. The relation could have ruined the Lowe's fortunes, forcing them to sell their land and cattle._

_The fact that the Peacecrafts had such a beautiful and spirited daughter made his decision an easy one. It didn't hurt that Aiden got to take something his father's favorite wanted, as well._

_She opened her eyes when he sat down on the bed; her stomach and breasts bulging her nightdress - her body enlarged from carrying his son. A soft smile lit her eyes for the first time, since... Aiden blinked and found himself stroking her hair._

_'This woman...' he caught his breath; a strange and powerful emotion surged through his abdomen and pooled in his chest. She pressed her cheek into his palm._

_"Aiden?"_

_"Is there anything...." he swallowed and realized how much....How much he wanted - his child. Their child. To enter the world._

_To hold him. To keep him safe..._

_"Come to bed?"_

_Did she mean...?_

_His...wife, rolled to her side and struggled to sit up. She met his gaze, and began to unfasten the buttons over her ample chest. He watched as she completed the task and pulled the fabric apart._

_Her engorged, milky white breasts showed the veins that spoke to her body's preparation to welcome their child... Their centers dark, pert, begging for his touch..._

_Aiden dragged his eyes away from the sight to meet her heavy-lidded gaze. "I know it's considered unsafe, but...I ache..."_

_He wet his lips. She drew his hand up to her left breast. The soft texture against his palm... Aiden drew his thumb over her nipple, watching it pucker as she let out a soft moan._

_Aiden leaned in to kiss those golden-pink lips. It started slow and languid even as a heat began to rise in the space between them. He pressed closer; desire hardened the member between his legs._

_Her fingers pulled at his shirt; he rubbed his thumb in a light circle over her areola, applying a bit of pressure to the nub. She broke the kiss and hissed his name._

_"Please..." she whispered, and Aiden couldn't fight the sharp sense of...Desire._

_"What could I possibly deny my wife?"_

_He shed his trousers and pressed her back onto the bed…_

Heero's sex throbbed and ached. Heat seared through his veins, it warmed his blood and set fire to the pit of his stomach. Her tongue ran in circles over the tip of his erection. Heero growled and pulled away. 

She looked at him. Her gaze its own blue-hot fire. "Be with me. Now, not...not then. Heero..." 

The vampire's need burned out of control. He seized her lips and pushed her down into the mattress. Her warm skin felt like heated silk. 

His cock found the junction between her legs – the heated opening he thirsted for. She choked and screamed when he entered her.

He tried to push away the memory:

_"Ahhhh! Aiden, ah, no, please—"_

_The feel of her hot, wet center contrasted sharply with the cool night air - slipping beneath his collar, chilling his blood. "If you cry louder, perhaps someone will find us." He licked and bit her earlobe._

_"Aiden." Her hands gripped his forearms and she wriggled underneath him – still trying to push him away… He smirked and pushed his hardened shaft further inside. The feeling of her flesh, her body stretching around him…_

_He thrust again and lowered his mouth to hers – forcing her to accept his kiss._

The vampire didn't think he could still sweat. Yet, cool liquid formed along his back from exertion. Relena's legs wrapped around his waist; her fingers gripped his shoulders. Her body soft and supple beneath him... But the sounds - the familiar whimpers intermingled with pained cries: "Uhn, Heero, please!"

His lust consumed the experience of...her. His body - so wicked and dark, penetrating her lighter and pleasing form. 

In so many ways...he was the sickness she claimed afflicted him. 

Heero ran a hand up the outside of her left thigh and drove his arousal into her – trying to extinguish the fire inside. Instead, it burned hotter, higher; a fevered pace that incinerated the last of his restraint. 

Relena surged up from the mattress, grasping him tighter, bringing his face dangerously close. Her mouth met his - desperate and needy.

"Relena…." He laid her back down. 

Her arteries stood out against her neck. She moaned as he thrust against her - her body writhing; it rippled the flesh of her chest. Relena craned her head back into the pillow. Her eyes closed. Her skin flushed a deep pink that smelled of her blood…

The vampire's teeth lengthened and bit into his bottom lip. His hunger sharpened - searing his veins and tugging his consciousness under the surface of its need.

Heero reached, every muscle in his body fighting, straining…

Relena's body shuddered; her sex quavered around his shaft - urging him towards his release. "Heero!" She clung to him; nails bit into his skin. Her warmth and the sweet, floral scent of her blood rose and swirled around him. 

The blaze engulfed him. And he let go.

* * *

She lay on the bed curled beside him - an entirely new experience, just with her. Dark gold hair fanned across his pillow. Her brow smooth; the smell of sex mixed with her essence and the enticing fragrance of blood… It weighted his eyelids. 'So intoxicating…'

"You didn't kill her." That dreadful voice. The one that existed in this new 'life' she gave him. How long had he hated her? Needed her...Accepted their strange companionship despite the urge to rip her apart.

Dark threads fell away. The vampire lifted his eyelids and the room came into focus. No light, not even from the moon, invaded the darkness, but he could still see…

"I'm surprised. I thought you planned to change her."

"I...promised," he grumbled,"not tonight." He covered the sleeping woman next to him with a comforter; he sat up to glare at the uninvited vampiress.

"Ah. But you did drink from her. Apparently, just enough to knock her out." She arched an eyebrow. "You look good, Heero."

"What do you want, Dorothy?"

She grinned. "Not a thing." She said with that feigned excitement that made him want to test whether he could overpower her, yet. It was only a matter of time...before he became stronger. She no longer fed the way she needed to, while Pagan kept him supplied with human blood from blood banks. 

"Just…as incredible as sex is while feeding on your partner…" Dorothy leaned forward and patted his cheek. "She was too weak. Tonight. And we don't know if her pesky virus is gone for good. She could be dying."

"I'll have Pagan check on her in the morning."

"Your restraint leads me to believe you don't intend to change her."

He held his breath for a moment, then, finally: "She…asked me not to."

The vampiress threw her head back and laughed. The sound echoed throughout the room - eerie, hollow. "Don't they always? If I recall…this wasn't your choice, either."

"Will you do the same to your new little toy?"

"Oh. My dear Quatre Raberba Winner." A dark, wooden chair scraped across the floor to sit behind her. She perched on the edge; one hand came up. Dorothy rested her chin on her knuckles. "You know better than that, Heero. Could I change that lovely specimen… Hmmmm."

"You've changed."

"Have I? Perhaps I have. I do fancy myself enamored with the boy. But his ideas of love and marriage…" She sat back and crossed her legs beneath her silver gown. "At least your doctor isn't quite so naïve as that."

"But will you change him?"

"Oh yes. Just…not right away. I'll give him a few years. Let age finish maturing him… Like a fine wine. But, not too old, of course. I couldn't let a wrinkle set into that pretty face. I'll change him when he's just," she kissed the tips of her fingers, "right." Dorothy smirked. 

"And you? Why are you hesitating?" She stood and paced towards him, again. "With her recklessness," the vampiress waved in the direction of Relena. "She may not live another six minutes let alone six months. Why risk it?"

"I…don't know."

"You're conflicted by…something."

Heero didn't respond.

"Don't fool yourself. We need them. Their fairytales of love and kindness. Their belief in something good. We need them, even though we don't believe in it ourselves. And so we'll take them. Keep them. But then, all their fairytales will end."

"Hn." All these years and she could still make him feel like he was in those chains...

"You'll take her, too. Unless you're going to tell me you believe her nonsense about finding a cure."

He turned away. Was it wrong to hope? But, no, he didn't really believe...such happiness could exist for someone like him. His insides twisted into a painful knot. He couldn't let Relena leave him; not again. Not after he found her….

"Let's pretend for a moment she could, someday, cure your thirst for blood. What about what you were before?"

Cold dread crashed over him, washing away all of Relena's warmth. "That's enough."

"You were always a virus. Weren't you?" Dorothy's voice taunted him. "Feeding from her. Stealing and corrupting—"

The freezing cold water swirled and churned, threatening to suffocate him. "Shut. Up."

"You could have courted her. But you knew she was too…good. Intended to marry a true gentleman. A man greater and better than you."

"No." He choked on the air in the room; his hands hovered in front of him - and he swore he could still see the irons on his wrists.

"So you degraded her. Used her. Until she had no choice but to give in to the disease that sucked the very life from her body. You. You caused her death before. You're not any better now."

Tears he didn't think he still possessed - welled in his eyes. "I asked you to kill me. You made me this-this—"

Her face - with that ghoulish pallor - grinned; her fangs and red eyes suspended in the darkness. "And haven't you been dying? All this time…" She disappeared into the shadows. 

"I never promised it would be a quick or easy death."

* * *

**Six months later…**

Heero heard her voice, speaking to Pagan at the front door. Followed by footsteps; a woman's heels clicked. The solid thuds of his butler's oxfords. The door to his study crept open, and she slipped in – surrounded by the scent of her perfume. It mingled with the earthy smell of her blood…

Relena shut the door. 

"You're late." He spoke to her reflection in the glass. It moved closer. 

"I didn't think you'd mind." She continued to approach. Gone were the high collars, but neither did she wear a gown like the one...that night. A simple light blue dress. The pearls he gave her as a birthday gift. Relena moved around the side of his desk to stand at the opposite end of the panes of glass. She always started the evening there. But, he'd coax her closer. Tempt her...touch her until she shared her warmth with him again. 

"I thought someone like you had nothing but time."

He shot her a look out of the corner of his eye. "I told Pagan to bring tea when you arrived."

"Thank you." She nodded and turned a smile in his direction. "The moon…it seems brighter tonight."

He didn't respond.

"You're being silent this evening." She leaned the side of her head against the glass. The outline of her breasts reflected in the glass. "Brooding, are we?"

"No."

"So just being your typical, disagreeable self."

He dipped his head and retorted: "As opposed to being naively cheerful."

"And what naiveté is there in cheerfulness?" She moved a few steps closer.

 _'That's it. Closer…. Come, Relena….'_ He held out his hand to her; she took it and laced her fingers through his. He pulled her to stand in front of him; Heero swept the hair from her right shoulder. He inhaled her aroma….

"Naiveté of, in this case, one's circumstances." 

"And what circumstances am I so pitifully unaware of, monsieur le vampire?" She tried to turn, but he held her in place. Her reflection met his gaze.

"Your…fate."

_His body still trembled and shook, but she'd let him go! Finally...Aiden had no idea how many days… But the nightmare, it had to have been…. He was going to wake up from it. He clapped his hand over the wound at his neck; it seared and he couldn't even touch a bright windowsill. But, he had to find Katrina!_

_He erupted into the family living room - heaving with exertion; sweat dripping down the sides of his face due to the fever. "Where is she?" He panted. Heaved. He could smell blood…._

_The brat of a man-child known as his younger brother, Duo, looked up from his book. His eyes widened; his boyish features fell slack and he jumped to his feet. "Brother!"_

_"Where is Katrina?" The room pulsed._

_"Where is Katrina," Duo repeated in a hollow voice. "Where the devil have you—"_

_"I want to know where she is." He stumbled forward and grabbed his brother's shoulders. "This minute," Aiden growled, "or I will break your neck."_

_"Sh-she left." His eyebrows peaked in the center of his forehead. He sucked in a sharp breath. "She booked passage on a ship back to England. She said she was going back to her parents, since you. Since you," He looked away, "abandoned her."_

_Aiden hissed at his brother. "You did not stop her."_

_"I…I tried." Duo shrugged out of his grip. "But, she. Well, she wouldn't have me."_

_"I already knew you tried to take her."_

_"What can be said, Aiden?" His younger brother crossed his arms and glowered. "I have never been as good as you at taking what I want."_

Relena trembled as he removed the pearls, and ran his fingertips down the side of her neck."So you've changed your mind again. I'm to be forced, drained, killed." Her reflection clamped its eyes shut. "The same way you were…"

_Weak…darkness… He reached a hand out and found the floor. Aiden dragged his body forward. 'Katrina…'_

_"And where do you think you can go? You have been drained to the point of death. Can you not feel it? You are dying." That hated voice echoed about the room._

_He choked and reached his left hand out; his fingertips searched for the junction between the floor and the wall. Black hands reached back. They lifted him to his feet. His back against the wall. He willed himself to stay standing._

_"And you will never see her again."_

_Darkness pulled again. His body wouldn't obey him. His knees wobbled and his heart wept._

_"She believes you abandoned her. She hates you. And you never told her you loved her." Pure malice dripped from the shadows. "You will die and she will never know. She will live with only the knowledge of her hatred."_

_He coughed and his body sagged towards the floor. The room spun all around him. 'She…never…hated me.'_

_"I could save you...."_

_A different kind of darkness opened its arms to him. And he felt so tired…. It would be so easy-_

_"Give you life and power – and you would live forever. Others…those around you. Your precious wife and son. They will die. But you…"_

_An image of Katrina, her face pale, her lips blue, lying next to Evan._

_'No.' The blackness smothered him, stamping on his lungs until he could no longer get the air to breathe._

_To live._

_'Katrina…'_

_"Tell me. Which fate would you choose? Eternal life without those most precious to you." The vampiress taunted, gleeful. "Or death with only a shameful legacy to leave behind?_

Heero shook his head slowly, willing her eyes open. "Not the same way I was."

"But you said—" She tried, again, to turn around in his loose embrace.

He held her shoulders. "You don't have someone to leave behind. Your father died when you were fifteen. Your mother, eight years later. You were an only child. You have no brother, no parents, no lover or husband, no children."

"And which are you afraid I'll find? A long-lost brother?"

Heero gritted his teeth.

"Or perhaps you're afraid I'll marry…someone other than you."

"You were my wife."

Her eyes widened and she placed her left hand over her chest. "I…I could find no record—"

"They buried you - your gravestone read 'Katrina Peacecraft'. Instead of Katrina Lowe. Because of my desertion."

_"He looks just like you." Katrina beamed from her place in her bed. Their child, Evan, lay cradled in her arms. Dark, chestnut hair sprinkled the top of his head._

_His son…_

_"Aiden?"_

_The room spun beneath him, and the floor rose to his knees. Thoughts and emotions swirled inside, no one thing discernable from the rest. He reached for her, bending forward, then doubling in half._

_Tears assaulted the top of his fists._

Heero stroked his fingers through her hair; he fought the urge welling deep inside him - to keep his features from changing… "I hunted you before I became a hunter of men. But your brother was determined… As your guardian, he refused my application for your hand. So, I found another way."

"I saw…your memory. You forced me, even though…Even though I cared for you."

"Yes. And it was more effective than I could have planned. If I believed in God, I might have believed he was on my side. Then." He kissed her neck; her eyelids fluttered closed. 

_'Relax…'_

"When you became pregnant, your brother, and you, begged me to marry you."

"Yes…" Her head lolled forward.

"Not long after, you took to your room. You didn't smile...or laugh. For months. Most of the time, you wouldn't even look at me. As if...as if I was your jailor instead of your husband."

_"Aiden?"_

_He kneeled on the ground, his hands fisting in the sheets of her bed. Her fingers stroked the top of his head._

_"Are you…crying?" Her voice held a tender lilt; their son grunted from the safety of her arms._

_Aiden didn't answer her, just knelt there, his heart pounding, silent tears coursing down his cheeks._

_"Would you…like to hold him?"_

_He managed to shake his head._

_"What…what troubles you? Is something—"_

_Aidan looked up and caught her gaze before she could glance away. Shadowed blue eyes stared back – for the first time in so long… "Katrina."_

_She smiled. "We have a son."_

_He reached a hand towards her and smoothed pieces of blonde hair from her face. Her eyes warmed. He pressed his forehead against hers._

_"Are you…are you happy?"_

Relena mewled. "You can't force someone to love you."

"Can't I?" 

"Even now…" Her voice struggled; she continued to fight his mental hold. "You may take…my life, make me immortal, and force me to stay by your side. But, you-you can't make me love you."

"You already claim to love me." He slipped one hand around her ribcage; his fingertips dancing over the swell of her breast. Her arm slung itself back, over his shoulder; her head dipped backwards to rest against him.

"Then why are you so afraid?"

"I won't lose you." Heero kissed her ear; he benignly nibbled at her throat. "I may wait…another hour, another day. But you will spend forever with me. One way or the other."

She twisted in his grip to face him. "Have faith…a little longer. I'm still trying."

He bent his head and allowed himself a smile she couldn't see. The vampire gave her a chaste kiss to her neck, delighting in the aroma of blood beneath her skin.

One hand found the top of her dress and pulled it down. He massaged her breast and licked the side of her neck, tracing her artery with his tongue. Relena sighed and relaxed into him. 

His eye teeth lengthened; he pulled his upper lip over his fangs….

_'I was never a good man, Relena. I haven't changed.'_

Her blood flowed over his teeth and tasted like the sunlight he could no longer see; the promise he had made her when they wed… The love that had sustained him those long months in chains.

The hope that someday...he would find her again.

She sagged from his embrace, slipping to kneel on the floor.

"Save me…" Her eyes stared up at him, and she reached a hand in his direction. But he wasn't sure, he didn't know, whom she was asking. 

He sliced open the vein at his wrist...

_"Are you…are you happy?" Her voice sounded. Bright._

_He swallowed, and finally managed an anguished: "Yes."_

_"Then why are you crying?" She tilted his head up to look at her. "You look…so sad."_

_"Because I…I don't deserve this. You…"_

_His wife smiled and kissed his forehead. He worked his arm around her body. Aiden held her gently, hugged his wife and child to his chest._

_She sighed and snuggled against him. "If I had one wish. I would spend forever…just like this." Her warm breath caressed his cheek._

_"With you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween 2020!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story. I really appreciate your time and interest. If you have any questions, please feel free to comment here; I will reply to everyone.
> 
> In the meantime, have a safe and fun (and healthy) Halloween!
> 
> Love,  
> ~Rose


End file.
